Day 2 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge and I’m feeling good. *snort* (Ask me again in 3 weeks when I may be woefully behind and frantic. But I must think positive!)
We plan to move sometime this coming summer and I have to get ready. I have to get rid of so much stuff, pack so much stuff, fix so much stuff, pay for so much stuff–all without panicking. And I panic easy!
So I created a Facebook group for decluttering support called Finally Free Decluttering Support. I invite everyone reading this to join me! We’ll share embarrassing photos around the campfire, push each other (a little) to keep going, and applaud when someone does well.
My first day with it was yesterday. I didn’t touch anything; I just looked. I looked at what I have around me. I looked at why I have the things I do around me. I looked at how I felt about all the things around me. And I found out that having unfinished projects and random stuff laying about is a way to mask my feelings. If I have too many projects to keep up with, how can anyone blame me for failing at one (or all)? If I can’t find a letter or a bill, I get to feel like a victim and let go of my power and any sense of personal responsibility.
I hide my power in my stuff. Somewhere in the piles and the unfinished filing is a competent woman who really can take care of her life, but who’s learned to be afraid. Learned that trying and failing is painful, especially in front of others who are a little quick to criticize, so why try at all?
What to do when you become aware that you are powerful, but have given your power away your whole life? Decisions, decisions. I could go back to sleep, ignore the piles, ignore my growing sense of loss, and let the clutter hold my pain. Or I can stand. I can decide that I AM and that no one, not even me, has the right to take away my power any more. And that’s what I decided.
So my first day of decluttering began with procrastination, trepidation about what kind of failure I would find in my chaos. But it wasn’t too bad.
I loaded a lot of recycling in the minivan (the back trunk space is full now), started a bag of trash, found a donation, and packed away my not-yet-used growing pots. I left the seedling heating pads and towel on the shelf because my daughter’s new cat, Jingle, likes to sit up there.
I am taking back my space, and my power, one spot at a time. If you’d like some support on finding your power in your piles, join me in the Finally Free Decluttering Support Facebook group. You can also sign up to my email list for updates on my journey (as well as homestead, homemaking, and self-help encouragement), as well as receiving a free Homegrown Green Smoothies report!